Slighty rude Irishman joke, (Only slightly!)

Flint

An Irishman, wishing to become a Priest, went to see the Bishop who said, "You must answer 3 questions on the Bible".
"1st - Who was born in a stable?"
"Red Rum." he replied
"2nd - What do you think of Damascus ?"
"It kills 99% of all germs." he replied.
"3rd - What happened when the disciples went to Mount Olive?"
"That’s easy!" he said,  "Popeye kicked the shit out of them!"

Flint's Ode to a bucket

Flint

Where would one be without a bucket?
A truly marvelous thing
The sound of a rattling bucket makes one's heart skip joyfully and SING!

In this wet and miserable weather
that's surrounding me today
I'd sooner be inside with my bucket and a sizable portion of hay.

I'm slightly obsessed with my bucket.
In fact any bucket will do
I like dipping my nose in a bucket
to find something lovely to chew.

In my endeavors to find a full bucket
I will break through any fence.
the temptation of a bucket is a temptation
I can simply not resist.

It often results in a problem,
but a clever pony knows
that a problem solving solution is a bucket
for my ever inquisitive nose! 

Not in the best of pony health

Sunny days

I'm a pie-bald pony

and I'm not my usual sunny self.

I've been suffering you see;

not in the best of pie-bald pony health.

I keep getting pink eye

and I had a bit of a chill

I blame the damp conditions

I'm sure that's making me ill.

My arthritis in my hock is making me sad

and the vet bills are rising and driving “Him” mad.

Two-legs is fussing: doing her best

keeping me out of the wet and letting me rest.

Now if I could find some sunshine

even a deep pile of snow.

Either would do me for a bit of a roll.

You can't roll in mud and the puddles won't do.

I want to roll in the sun shine

How about you?